From Self-Criticism to Self-Compassion

Self-Criticism:

• Self-criticism and shame are common across all mental health difficulties and can have powerful negative impacts on your emotions, brain, and physiology.

Physiology of Self-Criticism:

Figure 1. Limbic System (Source: Cleveland Clinic)

• Self-criticism triggers the brain’s ‘threat system’ - the limbic system (figure 1) - causing the brain to release cortisol (a stress hormone). 

• Cortisol activates the sympathetic nervous system initiating a ‘fight or flight’ response. 

• We are rarely in situations where the environment is triggering our threat systems, rather it is us who are triggering our own threat systems with our minds. 

• Our minds trigger our threat systems with negative predictions, painful memories, or harsh judgements and self-criticism. 

• This triggers a cascade of stress hormones that can overwhelm and flood our body and our emotions.

What can we do about it?:

• We have another system that has evolved to keep us safe, the parasympathetic nervous system.

• When others are kind to us and when we are caring to ourselves, oxytocin and other opiates are released which calm us down and make us feel safe.

• Self- compassion allows us to feel safe, emotionally balanced, and soothed. 

• This allows us to be happy, to take risks, to grow, and to ultimately reach our goals.

The three elements of Self-Compassion:

1. Self-kindness:

   • Be gentle with yourself when you encounter shortcomings or painful experiences. 

   • When we approach ourselves with warmth and concern, we can feel more encouraged.

2. Common Humanity 

   • Recognize that making mistakes is universal. 

   • We are not alone in our suffering, rather it is a shared experience among all humans.

3. Mindfulness 

   • Observe your thoughts and feelings in a non-judgmental manner without suppressing or exaggerating them. 

   • Be attentive to the fact that some type of pain or suffering is occurring so that you can respond to it.

     
     

Ways to practice Self-Compassion: 

• Treat yourself like a friend

• Chance critical self-talk

• Utilize supportive touch 

Conclusion:

• Practicing self-compassion is an effective yet challenging way to relate to ourselves. 

• It may feel quite different if we are used to listening to our self-critical voice. 

• Slow and consistent practice can help this feel more natural with time and yield benefits for our overall well-being.

References

Maynard, K. (n.d.). Self-compassion: Improve your well-being and quiet your inner critic \. University of Rochester Medical Center. https://www.urmc.rochester.edu/behavioral-health-partners/bhp-blog/june-2023/self-compassion-improve-your-well-being-and-quiet

The physiology of self-criticism: Self-compassion skills. Mindfulness & Clinical Psychology Solutions. (2024, August 20). https://mi-psych.com.au/the-physiology-of-self-criticism/